Today, nobody believes in reality. Fiction remains stronger than fact. All stories are true - satires in particular. Imaginary heroes are more dependable than the other kind, living or dead. Whatever you need is unavailable, so choose the brighter new tomorrows that you want instead. FAX 21 is a muse (news) blog-fest of science fiction concepts and fantasy ideas for genre enthusiasts. Paradox free since next year!

Sunday, 26 December 2010

Pot fab

Special reports about 'Pottymania' continue with fable focus on new movie, Larry Potty & the Lost Tomb of the Honest Politician with further awesome adventures of the blessed nation's favourite teenage warlock, ‘Lars Pot’ embarking almost heroically on a quest for greatest Arthurian myth of long lost fabled tomb of an honest British politician (only the names have been changed to protect guilty liquorice).

Infamously expelled from Pigwerks college, after that semi-finals débâcle during international quoddisch championship and platinum goose eggcup tournament, our young hero is banned from participating in next Olympix by wish-masters tribunal. On eve of Halloween elections which threaten the honest prime ministerial candidate, manuscript codex My Magick Struggle, a philosophical autobiography - written by griffinista head-case Bumblebore while he was unjustly imprisoned in the Towers of Lun Dun, vanishes from publishouse’s safekeeping, after incumbent PM, snobby atheist Professor Dorkins, is attacked in gutter scandal press of yellow papers by scheming brokers of new coalition government austerity plotting allegedly to auction off Royal Owls Mail letter postal services.

Avoiding prequelitis, this follow-up starts with Pigwerks 10-years-after reunion of mudbloods, despite industrial action of ex-prefect interlopers, enforcing kewl curfew over students’ astral bodies. Tensions are increased by ethnic cleansing policy against muggles by styx-up secret star chamber of slithrean heirs and their saturnic majesties of slytharati cabal, who oppose an uncommon agricultural policy favouring mandrake farming, despite Mrs Grundy complaints from supernatural noise abatement society over annoying cacophony by screaming roots during pagan ritual harvesting.

This new outing also sees the return of traumatised meddlesome elf–scab labour, all-round nuisance Dobby, saved from twee years of ex-schoolboy adventurer's early days by ghostly pyreworks amidst much flapping about of spiders' wings, helping to relaunch twitchy time-wasting neo-saint scar-face Potty from dusty Dickensian privilege, into Disneyfied wonder worlds, with framing device of suburban chav wisdom and literary culture. Though it usually boasts enchanting and spectacular visual effects, Potty lacks the narrative genre complexities or witty affectionate TV humour of Charmed’s suburban American milieu.

Among the plethora of action sequences and subplots in this Lost Tomb... epic, there's a Reliant Robin vs. Ford Prefect flying cars race, Cornish pixie pasty retail, bludger arms dealers with 40-inch treasure chests, hippogriff versus werewolves warfare, parcelmouthy snake doctors, and sepulchrous competitive wizardry abounds, risking unforgivable transfiguration curses on a gibbet of flame, slaying a fierce flash dragon to steal golden eggs, for evasion of every secret society's darkest schooldays, prompting rebellions against prophesy, aided by faithful ogre and grounds-keeper Hamid.

You will believe a geek can flee flying foes' fun!

(Albeit with overmuch Freudian imagery of magicians’ wands)


Friday, 24 December 2010

Pipe down

In coldest weather during the silly season, pipes are prone to breakdown - warns UK's plumbing watchers, the Pipe Down Society. Domestic pipes might burst into tears if not kept safe from chilly temps in our wintery discontent. Frosty treatment of pipes could prompt leaks or floods. Don't leave your pipes to suffer alone in silence. Lag a pipe today!

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Snow Golems

WANTED! Mobile or melted
Beware of terrible Snow Golems during severe weather...

They are made of icy cold & are not to be trusted with your children. Just like snowflakes, 'snow golems' are individually unique. Each snow-golem has an ill-will of its own. Some have hearts of black ice, others might have big snowballs.

* Do not risk sticking a carrot into any snow-golem's head 
* Do not give a snow golem your hat or scarf
* Do not add more snow to an existing snowman (it could turn into a snow-golem, overnight!)

Further warnings will follow this early report...

Waste Exorcist

Toilet Exorcist Services

Be perfectly safe on the loo...

Contact us if, or whenever, you need help with prompt & friendly disposal of supernatural or very far-fetched  probems found in the little room.

* Levitation escape parachutes 
* Catchall sick-bags for projectile vomit
* Demonic protection wipes


T.M.I. logo
Teleport Mishap Investigations
Report any teleport mishaps to T.M.I. - the global watchdog & monitoring service for teleportation accidents & sabotage.

Post your photographic evidence here...