Can of Wyrms

PRODUCT RECALL!

After various toxicology reports from the League of Nations’ medical advisors, and World Health Protection - LabCentral investigators, Queztacoatl & Ouroboros Ltd. have today issued an urgent recall notice for their canned wyrms. The reasoning for this recall is a matter of seasoning.

Harvested from high quality eggs on free range snake farms in the Republic of Texas and New Bangkok, the affected batch of canned wyrms carries these serial numerals: MDCCCLXVI to MDCCCLXIX.

The recall applies to products sold in many European states, and all English counties except Wessex. Price tag on affected tins or cans is 1/2 shilling. In all circumstances, the general public (including those ubiquitous citizens named Joe Bloggs), are urged to remain calm. There is no cause for panic. None, really! Oh, just behave yourselves.

A spokes-shaman for Q&O Ltd announced there are no reports of similar problems with the company’s specialist lines of venom-free canned serpent heads, in brine or bulls’ blood. Lucky charms made from serpents’ teeth were also cleared of problems by the LabCentral boffins. “They are functional and should be as sharp as usual, and just as bitter as the proverbial ungrateful child,” remarked Dr Lear Speare.

News Extra:

Membership of the Snake-Charmers Guild has been falling steadily since millennium-era legislation regulated international commerce of limbless vertebrate specimens or by-products.