YOU ARE HERE...


Today, nobody believes in reality. Fiction remains stronger than fact. All stories are true - satires in particular. Imaginary heroes are more dependable than the other kind, living or dead. Whatever you need is unavailable, so choose the brighter new tomorrows that you want instead. FAX 21 is a muse (news) blog-fest of science fiction concepts and fantasy ideas for genre enthusiasts. Paradox free since next year!


Monday, 15 August 2011

The Future Grave Detector

FUTURE GRAVE DETECTOR
MODEST RATES
DISCREET SERVICES

The Modern Miracle of Nechromatic Waves!
You!Are in business.
You! Are doing deals with TOP PEOPLE in high-pressure situations.
You! Are staring money in the guts and asking it to shove itself in your face EVERY DAY.
You!Need every EDGE you can get.
YOU NEED THE FUTURE GRAVE DETECTOR
Using the time-bending qualities of nechromatic rays, I am able to pin-point the precise funereal location of any man or woman on this planet currently on this side of the veil. When I have detected this terminal plot, I shall (for a modest fee*) at a time appointed by my client, stride back and forth across said deathly sward. By this means I can induce in my target that uncanny sensation we call:
WALKING ON ONE'S GRAVE!
Immediate symptoms can include:
  • Unease
  • Disturbance
  • Chills
  • Palpitations
...and on some rare occasions INSTANT DEATH.

The Effects of the Grave Walker's Art!
In this way you can gain that crucial advantage in a business negotiations, in the courts of law, at the tennis club or even IN MATTERS OF ROMANCE. For a consultation with no obligation to purchase, contact:

Vivian McReady
Future Grave Detector
1926 to 1979
Beloved father of Dave and Sandy, brother of Trish and Fran, unrelated-to but an admirer of Sir Edmund Hilary, and the much missed owner of Daisy the three-legged wonder cow.
Our Founder
* For a larger remuneration I can reveal the location of the terminal resting place of any partiular target. Such contracts by negotiation only.

No comments:

Post a Comment